Gems from school

The people in my class were born to be entertainers. While some try to take this literally by staring themselves for a few days, most simply provide entertainment by being themselves. Being a bystander (innocent until proven guilty) has its advantages. Here are just a few of the splendid thoughts which have, fortunately or unfortunately, been translated into words over the course of several classes.

Teacher: ...and so we must learn to view all other communities and ethnicities equally. We must not judge them based on what the media says about them. We must learn to stop stereotyping them, and we must not judge them-

Student[noticing the 2nd time "must not judge them" is mentioned] : But that's prejudice!

Teacher: You see, the city [Bombay] is in the hands of the majority. They decide the policies. That is why all the politicians canvass the support of the majority-

Student: Miss, but [arguably the most uttered phrase in our class after "But miss,"] the politicians in this article [refers to article being referred to by teacher] are canv- getting the support of the slumpeople. I mean, shouldn't they be with the majority?

Teacher[confused, and completely unprepared for the asinine comments about to follow]: ...?,.? but they're campaigning in the suburbs, especially in the slums and the middle class areas.

Student: Miss, but those aren't the majority group in Bombay!

Teacher[thoroughly mystified]: Then who is?

Student: Who? Miss, us of course! The upper class community has, like, far more people than the middle or lower classes. Miss, come on; that's obvious.

Teacher: What are you saying??!!?!!?

Student: It's true miss, all the people I know are upper class. I don't know ANYONE from the slums miss, and I've gone farther than Worli, so I know what I'm saying miss.

Teacher: ....................

[after seeing a documentary on the Gujurat riots]

Student: I think it's exaggerated because it was made by a Communist. It was all a very Leftist-ly skewed documentary; it portrayed Modi as this Muslim-hater.

[after hearing that Obama has doubts about the effectiveness of the trickle-down effect]

Classmate: I don't think I'd vote for Obama. He has Communist-like economic policies.

Me: So, assuming we were in a position as US citizens to vote, you'd rather vote for McCain, who has a) NO economic sense/policies and b) economic advisors worse than Bush's.

Classmate:Well, he is a Vietnam war veteran.

Teacher: People in urban India are getting neither food nor money to buy food. With prices rising-

Student: Miss but food prices are low! A burger at McDonalds costs only 20 bucks [Rupees]

There are quite a few more which can' remember right now. I don't really need to. I just have to pay attention in class again....

Bizarre happenings

Recently, I had a very interesting conversation.

My uncle has horribly high diabetes. Apart from not being able to enjoy the many, many sweet things provided and made for people to enjoy, he has to consume, on a daily basis, a whole arsenal of pills and tablets in an entertaining variety of shapes, sizes and colours (just pronouncing their names had earlier kept me occupied for a good half hour) which he keeps in one of those plastic containers, subdivided into seven boxes: S M T W T F S

Also, he recently arrived from the US (it is significant).

We were having an entertaining conversation (about probability in game shows; great stuff, I'll talk about it some time) post-lunch when he suddenly breaks off and takes out a mini-carnival of pills from the box marked F.

Me: Friday?

Uncle: Yeah..um wait. What day is it? (No, I can assure you that he wasn't stoned; alcohol isn't good for his level of diabetes)

Me: Saturday

Uncle: Then why is my Friday bunch [of pills] still here. This is very weird.

I had my medicines yesterday, so did I take the Thursday dose then?

(we sit pondering what all this could mean)

Uncle: Ah. I think I understand. You see, while flying here, I technically skipped a day.

That was a really freaky thought: even though he had his proper dosage according to the 24-hour prescription, he had skipped a day while coming to India, which could have completely screwed up his dose; any fluctuations in the insulin level and he could be on a hospital bed.

So he was just plain lucky. There was, however, just one more problem:

The Saturday box was empty.